- Shhhhhhhhh.
- Close your eyes.
- Think of somebody you really don't like.... hate even.
- Go love 'em.
GO!
Expanded Version of Recipe for a Better America
- Shhhhhhhhhh. It's hard to think or love others when you are talking. Take a breath. Better yet, take a couple breaths.
- Close your eyes. There are a lot of people trying to get your attention right now and most of them are not there to help you, they're there to help themselves. So close your eyes and your ears too if you can. Just get to a quiet place.
- Think of somebody you really don't like.... hate even.
- For some of you, perhaps many of you, the person you really don't like is YOU. If that's the case, then that's the best place to start. It is VERY hard to love people when you don't love yourself. In Ephesians, Paul implores husbands to love their wives as they love themselves. A lot of people have this vision of love as selfless, when in fact love without self is just service or flattery. Love is selffull! It's like in the airplane, first you put the oxygen mask on yourself, then you put it on those you love.
- For those of you that have the confidence to love yourself, who do you hate? Public figures and untouchable enemies don't count. So you can't pick a politician or terrorist leader or whatever. I am talking about someone that you know well, who knows you well. Someone that you really don't like and who probably doesn't like you. Could be a family member or ex-spouse or a former friend (it's not uncommon to hate people we used to love - something to do with vulnerability). It could also be someone who has harmed you terribly or taken something or someone from you. Lastly, it could be a group of people to which one of the above belong. That group could be a race, religion, region, class, gender, you name it.
- Go love 'em.
- The first three steps are actually extremely difficult, but if you are honest and patient you'll make it to step 4. This is actually the simplest, easiest step, but by far the scariest. It may be so scary that you need to go back through the process and find someone else to start with. If your enemy number one is just too overwhelming, try number two, and if that's too hard, try number three and so on. Loving people who bug you will strengthen your love muscles and make it easier to love people who drive you crazy, which will make it easier to love people you really dislike, which will help... You get the picture. Just don't get complacent loving annoying people when there are people out there you really despise who need your love.
- This is dangerous. You could get hurt, seriously hurt or even worse. It is up to you to decide how risky you can afford to be here and you should NOT do this alone. Talk to a friend and pray through the process. This is a tough call because some people actually do go out and love people who have done terrible things to them. (see Elizabeth Elliot). I'm not telling you to put yourself in that position, but the testimonies coming out the other side of those circumstances are mind blowing. Big faith, big love, big impact. Consider that the apostles were killed by the very people they were trying to love. This didn't just happen once, but again and again and again in the early church. In the process, the church exploded because people wanted to know where that deep well of love came from.
Want some inspiration? Check out these stories:
Matthew 5:43 “You have heard people say, ‘Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.’ But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven.”
Go see the play, The Best of Enemies if it ever comes to your town. I saw it in 2015 at the Taproot Theatre in Seattle and it blew my mind.
The Cross and the Switchblade is an amazing story of a man called to love the "unloveable".
Elisabeth Elliot has written many books, and a few are about the life of her husband who was killed by a tribe of indigenous people in Ecuador. She later followed up and ministered to them herself.
Do you have a personal story to share of reaching out to an enemy with love? You never know what can come of it.