Give Until It Doesn't Hurt

When I was in college, I went to Argentina on a mission trip.  While I was down there an awesome missionary named Dan Ryder (who taught me many great lessons which I'll share in other posts) taught me a saying, "give until it hurts".  I'm sure he didn't come up with it, but he introduced it to me, so he get's the credit as far as I'm concerned.    

What did he mean by it?  Well the way he explained it is that if we are giving out of our comfort, it's not really giving, because we're not giving up anything.  Jesus explains this in the example of the Widow's Mite in Luke 21:1-4.  

“21:1 And [Jesus] looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. 2 And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. 3 And He said, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; 4 for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.”

— Luke 21:1-4, NASB from BibleGateway.com

Giving till it hurts means giving until you notice the difference.  The next spring after the mission trip to Argentina, I was in New York City on a trip to expose us to urban missions to disadvantaged youth, the homeless and the addicted.  One rainy night in Manhattan, we went out to bring food to those on the streets and were instructed to sit down and get to know some of these folks we aimed to serve.  I talked to a guy who'd lost his job, his wife, his home, and his dignity.  When I asked him what I could do for him, he said he just wanted some socks because it was so cold and damp.  A quick look at his feet suggested that my socks would probably fit him, so I took off my shoes and socks, gave him my socks and put my shoes back on.  I was a poor college student working my way through college on a scholarship, but I still had more socks back in my suitcase.  Frankly, that didn't hurt much, but I did notice the difference because for the rest of the evening, my feet were freezing.  And most importantly, I was learning to exercise my GIVE muscle.  

Since then, I've striven to give as much as possible and there have been many conversations in which my wife and I have struggled to understand why so and so seems to have more money to spend on such and such.  Then we look at our giving and realize that we could have had a bigger house, nicer car, fancier vacations or whatever, if we had given less.  

So, we give and it hurts.  Or does it?  

Back when we first got married and we wanted to buy a house so badly, it was tough to give up 10% of our income, and we didn't always succeed.  Later, when we got into the pile of debt that inspired my book, Pillows For Your Prison Cell, it was really tough to give because it slowed down our process of getting out of our prison cell.  But we gave, and we gave, and over time we learned that it was better to give and trust our heavenly father than to keep the money for our own plan.  God's math is not our math.  His economy is not our economy.  His promise in Malachi 4:10 demonstrates how he thinks about this. 

“4:10 ‘Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.’”

— Malachi 4:10, NIV from BibleGateway.com

If this is God's promise, then how can it hurt to give?  In fact, the more I give, the less it hurts.  It only hurts if I think it's mine and by giving zealously for the last 20+ years, God has taught me that it ISN'T mine.  In fact, I'm not really giving anything.  I'm taking.  So I gave until it didn't hurt and now my goal is to take less.  

Let me draw a picture for you.  In the next 12 months, God is going to put a pile of resources on the table in front of you: Time, Talents (knowledge, skills, abilities) and Treasure (money).  How much of that are you going to take and use for yourself, and how much of that are you going to leave on the table to do His work?  Here's the cool thing:  It's all yours!  He gave it to you, so you get to decide how to use it.  You can invest in your local church, in a school in Haiti, an urban mission, or whatever He has put on your heart.  What you do with it is up to you.  So whether you have a little talent and a lot of money or a bit of time and some talent too, whatever you have, He gave it to you because He knows you'll put it to good use.  

Tell me how you like to leverage your time, talent and treasure with the ministries that the Lord has put on your heart.  In addition to our local church, my wife and I are currently investing in: 

Love Does - So far, all we've been able to do is give money to sponsor kids to go to school in war torn and impoverished parts of Africa and Asia.  Some day soon we'd like to visit these schools and invest in the kids directly.  

God's Littlest Angels - We had the good fortune of connecting with the founders of GLA and hosted them in our home while they were in Seattle to raise money at Microsoft (my former employer).  We then got to visit GLA in Petionville, Haiti and spend hours and hours holding babies (which is a huge blessing to a little baby in their first years and I can say that giving did not hurt one bit).  Now we are sponsoring children to go to school in Haiti where school is NOT free.  

And of course, No More Pillows the ministry I created to host fun and provocative weekend retreats for youth.  (Shameless plug...)

What kind of King do you serve?

I suppose there are three kinds of people. Those who serve a good king, those who serve a bad king, and those who are trying to be king. But is it possible that there is really just one kind of person? Wouldn't it make sense that everyone deep down in their core wants to serve a good king rather than the other two options? Then why don't they?

Consider the one who is serving a bad king. Why do they do it? In the Chronicles of Narnia, there were beasts who served the White Witch, and of course, in the recent making of the film those beasts were as ugly as could be, making it all the easier to hate them. But why did they serve the White Witch? I suspect it was fear and historical momentum. Fear is how it started and historical momentum is how it was maintained. We are by nature creatures of fear. Fear is an incredibly powerful force and we submit ourselves to it daily.

When the White Witch took over initially, she did it through an exertion of power, by using her magic to turn creatures into stone. This would no doubt elicit a large amount of fear which allowed her to manipulate a larger and larger population. Once those creatures who were so afraid of her began to do her bidding, they formed habits and established a pattern of behavior that would have been passed to their families and communities. Before long there was a whole army of creatures serving an evil monarch. I don't believe anyone really wanted to serve her, especially once they got to know her. But once inside her circle fear and momentum ruled the mind and therefore the actions of her servants.

Now consider the one who wants to be king. Why be king? What does a king get that a subject does not? Power is the first thing that comes to my mind, but power, like money, is by itself is useless. It is only a means to an end. So, what end? If you boil it down, all the things one can get with power or money serve to make a person either comfortable or excited, or both. Think about it. Sex, food, toys, adventures. They all comfort and excite. So what if there were a good king who would provide everything necessary to be comforted and excited without all the stress of being in control of an empire? This brings us back to fear, because if I fear that such a king doesn't exist or won't provide those things for me, and I don't want to serve another king, then my only choice is to become a king myself.

I believe the White Witch wants to serve Aslan, but she is paralyzed by fear that he won't love and provide for her. And the wolves want to serve Aslan, but they live in fear of the White Witch who is here and now, and don't know Aslan who was not present for so long. Aslan, the true ruler could force both of them to serve him, but he chooses not to. He allows them to make their own choice. And some, like Edward and Eustace, he chooses to love in such an overwhelmingly present way that they could choose no other path than to serve him.

It all comes down to fear. Think about that the next time you see a "bad" person, whether it's at work, on the road, in the news, or in the mirror. What does he or she fear? Might you be the one to introduce them to Aslan?

On my best days, I'm trying to serve the one true good king.  But when I'm weak, I'm prone to try to be king.  What about you?  Do you find yourself more likely to serve the wrong king or to try to be king?

NOTE: This essay was originally posted on Facebook on my Mark D. Bullard Author page on Sept 9, 2014.  

What's your Faith Quotient?

You hear a lot of talk about IQ (Intelligence Quotient), and since it's so clearly measured (at least according to some) it's fun to figure out who has the biggest score and then be jealous of them or assume that their IQ explains their success.  In recent decades there's been a lot of emphasis on EIQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) and recognizing that it's as important and possibly more important to attaining "success".  Now I put quotes around success because most of the time in business or personal fulfillment literature, success is closely correlated to money.  But you and I both know how untrue that is.  Of course, now I have to admit that while I know in my head that money won't make me happy, I still want more of it, and still measure success in terms of money constantly.  OK, but what is success?  What if success were tied to something more like satisfaction with life?  Or maybe even better would be satisfaction multiplied by positive impact?  What if I had very little mullah, but felt very satiated AND had a significant impact on the world around me?  For instance, what if I were a kindergarten teacher at a private school that couldn't afford to pay me well because the state didn't support independent educational options?  I might impact hundreds of kids over the course of my life and each of them in a deeply powerful and personal way, but I wouldn't likely make much money or find myself on the front of any magazine's 40 under 40 list.    

So, what about FQ?  I know, it looks a little bit like a four letter word, but it stands for Faith Quotient.  How successful could you be if you had only average IQ and average EQ but high FQ?  When I think of high FQ, I think of people like David Wilkerson.  I don't know how much of the other two he had, but he had heaps of grace mixed with mounds of faith and he leveraged them both to awesome effect.  All three of these quotients are gifts from God and to him who has been given much, much is expected.  Whether you're smart, or good with people, or have deep pockets of faith, you have what you have to bring glory to God.  And when you use your gifts to bless the world around you, you bring glory to your maker.  We have both the duty and the joy of taking whatever quotients we've been given to impact the world and that is my definition of "success".  

"Until now you've not asked for anything in my name.  Ask and you will receive and your joy will be made complete." - John 16:24

So, how about you?  What's your quotient?  Which one is your strength?  Or do you have an even different quotient?  

PS.  I made up Faith Quotient (FQ), but of course I wasn't the first to do so.  Here's an interesting article from 1955 by a game show host on the topic:  http://www.unz.org/Pub/AmMercury-1955feb-00129

A Saturday Peace

We use firewood to heat our home, and every morning I go out to the firewood shed to bring in firewood for the day.  I have to make several trips to bring in enough wood to heat the house for the next 24 hours (we burn 7 chords of wood per season).  When I'm bringing in those pieces of wood, I evaluate them to pick the right pieces at the right time.  For instance, I always try to grab wetter and more square shapes first to put on the bottom of the pile.  They make a steady base, and they'll dry out more before they get used.  Then I add the drier and possibly odder shapes near the top of the pile since they will be thrown into the fire sooner and they don't need to hold pieces above them.  

 There is one type of piece, however, that I avoid bringing in: the Saturday piece.  A Saturday piece is a problem piece.  It's too big or oddly shaped or wet to throw on the pile for a normal day.  I'm typically gone during the day on weekdays and I don't want to make my wife deal with the odd or inconvenient piece.  But on Saturdays I'm around and it's no big deal to wrestle with that piece on those days.  If it's particularly wet, I leave it right in front of the fire to dry it out, and if it's really big, I get the fire nice and hot, then make space for it.  The bottom line is that some wood is just going to be too much of a pain to deal with on an ordinary day and is best dealt with when I'll have time to address it without stress.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  It's not procrastination to identify a problem too gnarly to deal with right now and set it aside for a time when you know you can address it.  Procrastination is arriving on Saturday and wimping out and opting not to deal with those pieces when I know I can.  Knowing that I'll deal with those problems on the weekend gives me a Saturday peace all week long.