Tangled

When I was in 6th grade, I knew a kid who came back from Singapore where his family had been missionaries.  His name was Steven, but everyone called him Stevie.  He had tons of really cool electronics that he had picked up during his time in Asia, and he was willing to sell me a Walkman knock off for $50.  It was made by Aiwa.  One of those brands like Thule that's so cool, only insiders know how to pronounce it right.  It was all black with some red and white details and it had two super cool features: Autoreverse and a three channel equalizer.  Hello!  It had an equalizer on a hand held tape player!  It was sooooo cool.  But there was one problem I experienced constantly ... tangled headphone wires.  

Tangled head phones, tangled electrical cords, tangles hoses, tangled christmas lights, tangled blinds pulls.  You name it.  If it could get tangled it did get tangled, and it all started with shoe laces.  Why were my shoe laces always getting tangled, and why was everything always getting tangled?  Or here's another question... why don't I have that problem now?    

It's weird.  I practically never have that problem anymore.  Either things don't get tangled in the first place, or if they are a little bit, I can easily undo it.  Why?  What's the difference?

The answer is probably a bit obvious, but it's worth looking at it and thinking about how it relates to the other parts of our lives that are still getting tangled.  The way I see it, it's a two part answer.  First, I am more careful about how I put things away.  Second, I am more patient about getting things untangled.  

When I was a kid, I just grabbed the thing and jammed it into a drawer or pocket or closet without thinking about what it would be like when I got it back out.  An interesting side note is that I also didn't think about whether that would be easy or hard for someone else to pull out.  It's no surprise then that when I tried to retrieve the item, that it would be a mess.  And of course, when I did pull it out, I was in a hurry to fix the mess and just started pulling on whatever end seemed to stick out the furthest.  

Now, when I put away an electrical cord, I plug the two ends together and wrap it up the way I learned to flake climbing rope when I was in college.  When I put away christmas lights, I wrap them around a paper towel core or at least put them in separate bags.  Basically, I've learned that if I put it away right, it's easier to get it out without getting too tangled.  

But, you know, some things just get tangled anyway, no matter what you do...especially those christmas lights.  So, now when I pull something out that is already tangled, I take a moment to look at it.  Usually, the easiest way to untangle it is to just let it fall apart.  Rather than pulling the one end you can find, go to the middle and just start opening up the knot, slowly pulling all the parts apart from each other.  In my experience, it will usually find its way open from there.  

I've found that applying these same principles to the rest of my life helps me get other things untangled too.  First of all, take the time to do things right the first time.  Then, when things still get tangled, take a breath, and go straight to the heart of the matter rather than pulling on whatever end is sticking out.  

What about you?  Is there some part of your life that's a tangled mess?  Would it be helpful to go straight to the heart of that matter rather than pulling on loose ends?  

What kind of King do you serve?

I suppose there are three kinds of people. Those who serve a good king, those who serve a bad king, and those who are trying to be king. But is it possible that there is really just one kind of person? Wouldn't it make sense that everyone deep down in their core wants to serve a good king rather than the other two options? Then why don't they?

Consider the one who is serving a bad king. Why do they do it? In the Chronicles of Narnia, there were beasts who served the White Witch, and of course, in the recent making of the film those beasts were as ugly as could be, making it all the easier to hate them. But why did they serve the White Witch? I suspect it was fear and historical momentum. Fear is how it started and historical momentum is how it was maintained. We are by nature creatures of fear. Fear is an incredibly powerful force and we submit ourselves to it daily.

When the White Witch took over initially, she did it through an exertion of power, by using her magic to turn creatures into stone. This would no doubt elicit a large amount of fear which allowed her to manipulate a larger and larger population. Once those creatures who were so afraid of her began to do her bidding, they formed habits and established a pattern of behavior that would have been passed to their families and communities. Before long there was a whole army of creatures serving an evil monarch. I don't believe anyone really wanted to serve her, especially once they got to know her. But once inside her circle fear and momentum ruled the mind and therefore the actions of her servants.

Now consider the one who wants to be king. Why be king? What does a king get that a subject does not? Power is the first thing that comes to my mind, but power, like money, is by itself is useless. It is only a means to an end. So, what end? If you boil it down, all the things one can get with power or money serve to make a person either comfortable or excited, or both. Think about it. Sex, food, toys, adventures. They all comfort and excite. So what if there were a good king who would provide everything necessary to be comforted and excited without all the stress of being in control of an empire? This brings us back to fear, because if I fear that such a king doesn't exist or won't provide those things for me, and I don't want to serve another king, then my only choice is to become a king myself.

I believe the White Witch wants to serve Aslan, but she is paralyzed by fear that he won't love and provide for her. And the wolves want to serve Aslan, but they live in fear of the White Witch who is here and now, and don't know Aslan who was not present for so long. Aslan, the true ruler could force both of them to serve him, but he chooses not to. He allows them to make their own choice. And some, like Edward and Eustace, he chooses to love in such an overwhelmingly present way that they could choose no other path than to serve him.

It all comes down to fear. Think about that the next time you see a "bad" person, whether it's at work, on the road, in the news, or in the mirror. What does he or she fear? Might you be the one to introduce them to Aslan?

On my best days, I'm trying to serve the one true good king.  But when I'm weak, I'm prone to try to be king.  What about you?  Do you find yourself more likely to serve the wrong king or to try to be king?

NOTE: This essay was originally posted on Facebook on my Mark D. Bullard Author page on Sept 9, 2014.  

The Nightmare of Living the Dream

     I used to dream of something going wrong that would force me to "live the dream", but now I'm living it and the pressure is on.

A few years ago I just worked for a boss.  I just had a job.  I flew around the country and occasionally overseas to sell expensive enterprise software to massive corporations.  I had 5 people that worked directly for me and a boss above me.  It was great, and I loved a lot of things about it, but I constantly dreamed of breaking free.  I would be riding my motorcycle home from my office, and think to myself, What if I got in a terrible accident and got paralyzed?

I reasoned that then I would have to quit my job and be "forced" to work on writing and marketing my book.  Plus, I'd have the added benefit of people feeling bad for me, which would give my book a nice PR boost.  I imagined the newspaper article about the guy who got in the motorcycle accident who was fighting for his family and pressing forward on his book despite circumstances stacked against him.  Sounds good doesn't it?

Well, then my company sold, and I earned a nice bonus equivalent to about one year's salary.  Not a huge cushion, not the big IPO payout you hear about, but it was enough to open the door for an opportunity.  I quit my job so that I could "live the dream" and focus on my book full time.

Wahoo!  Freedom!  Oh, snap....  Now what do I do?

The fact is that I knew exactly what to do.  I'd been working on my book for 5 years, and I had a very complete marketing plan and long lists of ToDos.  But there was soooo much to do that it was overwhelming, and I didn't have a boss to prioritize it for me or even a peer with whom I could share challenges and opportunities.  It was all me.  Turns out there's a lot of responsibility in living the dream (which makes me think about all the "Freedom Ain't Free" bumper stickers, but that's another topic....).  The good news was that I didn't have to get paralyzed to "live the dream", but the reality news was, there was a lot of hard work ahead!